Grief
Grief can occur from different types of loss. This includes death of a loved one, loss of a friendship, a break-up, a pet dying or moving away from home.
Some common feelings experienced are sadness, anger, anxiety, shock and loneliness. Some people might also experience a lot of guilt or self-blame depending on the situation.
Other reactions include confusion. forgetfulness, and trouble concentrating. Your body might experience fatigue, aches, and pains or headaches. It is important to take care of your physical health while you are coping with grief . Try to sleep well, exercise, and eat healthy foods.
Common stages that people who are grieving experience include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages can come in any order and last for different lengths of time.
There's no limit on grieving. Everyone goes through this process in their own way. Make sure that you take the time that you need. If you are having trouble coping on your own, it might be helpful to talk to someone.
As you are grieving, it is important to find healthy ways to cope. Using coping skills, can help you get to the point of acceptance. Acceptance means that although you are still sad about the loss, you are ready to start moving forward.
What does grief look like?
Grief takes on different shapes, attitudes and behaviors. Teens experience grief in many different ways and not necessarily in the same order or at the same time.
Overwhelming sadness
This can feel like an incredible weight that prevents you from wanting to do anything.
Drop in school grades
Because you are having a hard time focusing, your grades may drop. If they don't go back up within a reasonable amount of time, ask a teacher or friend for help.
Anger
You may lash out in anger because you feel you have lost control of your life. It is normal to feel angry with the person who has died.
Lack of Interest or Motivation
You may adopt a "why bother" attitude.
No outward response
At school, you may act like nothing has happened so you don't call attention to yourself. At home, you may try to act like nothing is bothering you so your family won't be sad or worry about you.
Guilt
You may feel guilt because of something you have said or not said, thought, felt or wished about the person who died. You may even think that you could have prevented the death. You may also feel guilty for wanting to feel normal again.
Loneliness
You can feel very isolated and different from your peers.
Overachievement
You may try to be your very best to make it easier for other family members to cope. This can put even more pressure on you.
Lack of focus
You may find it difficult to pay attention because your mind can't shut off what has happened. So you become unfocused and unorganized.
Inability to relate with peers
Relating to friends can become difficult because the problems may seem small and fixable compared to your loss.
Worry
You may not be able to stop worrying about your loved ones because of the fear that you might lose them too.
Withdrawal
You may pull away from friends, drop out of clubs or sports or cancel plans. Sometimes it's just easier to be alone.
Impatience
You may become impatient or irritated with others especially if someone complains about something trivial and fixable.
Sexual activity
You may engage in sexual activity so you can escape the pain and feel connected with someone.
Unusual happenings
You may have experience seeing or hearing the loved ones who has died or have vivid dreams about him/her. Some teens find this comforting since it feels like a connection with their loved one. Others may find it uncomfortable. It can help to talk or write about it.
Drug or alcohol use
You may experiment with either or both as part of that "why bother" attitude to mask or stop the pain you feel. Use of drugs or alcohol makes grief more difficult.